I just realized it's been a full month since I posted last! I have been trying to post more regularly, but I guess life got away from me this month. So what has been keeping me busy?
First of all, my mole biopsy came back with abnormal cells. So in May I am getting a larger hole cut out of my face so they can remove all the abnormal cells. The good news is that it isn't cancer.
I also hosted a sleep over party for my eight year old - our first. It was exhausting, but so rewarding. Afterwards my daughter told me it was the best birthday party ever, making all that hard work worth it.
In other news, I moved from part time to full time. It's not a lot of extra hours, just about two hours more per day Monday to Friday. So far, though, it's been exhausting. I get up at 6 a.m. to workout, at 8:30 the kids start school and I start work, I get off at 4:30 p.m., pick up the kids, and then we may go to soccer, or run an errand and get home at 6 p.m. Then it's time for dinner, reading with the kids, and bedtime routines. Then it's time for me to clean up, make lunches, etc. Two days a week I head back out the door for Taekwondo in the evening.
Fortunately, my mood has been pretty positive. My medication seems to be doing it's job, and I believe my early morning workouts have really helped me feel good.
Sometimes when things are going good, I dreamed that I've been cured from depression and that I'll never feel depressed again. Boy I wish that were true.
What kind of medication are you on? And be careful all that activity of morning workouts are going to exhaust you ,reward yourself a morning a week and sleep in a little :)
ReplyDeleteI did Martial Arts for about 8 years and it was one of the most rewarding things I ever participated in. Unfortunately my Bi-Polar disorder started to get way out of hand. I had to drop out of the Martial Arts community that I was apart of. I was out for about 2 years and I just recently rejoined and it has been great! My mood is better, I feel less lonely, I have more energy!
ReplyDeleteLong story short those workouts really do help! Keep up the good work, and maybe consider joining some sort of exercise based group so that not only are you exercising and staying fit and happy, you are also getting a great social aspect in there (although after reading your post it seems you are pretty tight on time... keep it in mind for the future!).
Happy for ya!
Hey, Just checked out this blog found it interesting! But yeah, I found out I had depression on Monday, and I'm trying to thing of ways to keep myself busy. I started a blog up today and It would really help if you took a look at it, I haven't wrote much yet, but it's helping. Also is there any other ways that you think may help? someone suggested councelling and my form teacher put me forward for it, but I'm really nervous and not quite sure what to expect...please show your support http://keepsmilinghavehope.blogspot.co.uk/ thankyou
ReplyDeleteI feel you Jamie... still hoping for a cure... *le sigh
ReplyDeleteParenting with depression.............exzaaaaaaaaaaaaasting.
ReplyDeletei know the feeling well.
ReplyDeletehttp://cure-depression.in/
Exercise did help me a lot when I was depressed. What helped me overcome it completely though was hypnotherapy and NLP. It only takes about 10 sessions of hypnotherapy, or 4/5 of NLP so depression can be overcome much faster than you think. Find someone in your area who specializes in depression, even better if it's someone who's had and overcame depression themselves as they'll understand exactly how you feel.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with whatever you choose to do x
http://www.understanding-depression-symptoms.com
A blog about Bulimia, depresion, existentialism..I’ve just started.. http://troubleborderline-tca.blogspot.com.es/
ReplyDeleteI've been depressed off and on since I was 11 - that was 36 yrs ago. One of the worst times was when my kids were small and I was so busy I never had enough alone time for my soul to recharge. I'd burn myself out beyond all belief just cuz I had so much to do. In retrospect, I'd have been a better mother if I'd ALSO scheduled in some "away from it all" time - even just an hour or two a week.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could say it got easier. My youngest is 20 now, and lives with me. I go through terrible bouts of depression still. I'm certainly not the kind of person who should own a handgun. The PhDs say it's PTSD and chronic depression, but I can't imagine taking the drugs and living with the side effects. There are good days and bad days - this isn't one of the good ones.
Thanks for coming "out of the closet" about your depression. Even the people closest to me in life don't really know how close I get to the edge at times. I wonder what people did before the internet exposed that they are not alone?
It's hard to have hope having dealt with depression since i was a teen and am now 39. Like you, no one close to me really knows, gets or understands how much it affects me, how much of a battle it is for me...it feels like having a disease but with no hope for a cure and instead of people caring for you when you're "sick" you have to hide it and pretend you're fine because no one sees it as a physical illness, they think you can take meds, exercise and think happy thoughts and you'll be fine, they don't know how dark the valleys are, how hard it is just to get your teeth brushed, feed your family and take care of the bare essentials. I hate depression and all it robs me of, it makes me someone i don't want to be. I struggle with why God would make me this way, to where I'm battling each day to get thru, why wont He either give me peace about my afflictions, show me how to use them to honor Him or remove them? I hate not being the mom, wife, friend, granddaughter, daughter, sister etc i wish i could be! Ive tried many meds natural and rx, done counselling many times and yet nothing works for me. I just have to ride out the storm and hope i make it out alive, other times i dont really care if i make it out alive i just want the storm to end. Its an exhausting disease. Thank you for being honest and allowing your testimony to encourage others to be honest as well! Maybe there is freedom in that!
DeleteIt's hard to have hope having dealt with depression since i was a teen and am now 39. Like you, no one close to me really knows, gets or understands how much it affects me, how much of a battle it is for me...it feels like having a disease but with no hope for a cure and instead of people caring for you when you're "sick" you have to hide it and pretend you're fine because no one sees it as a physical illness, they think you can take meds, exercise and think happy thoughts and you'll be fine, they don't know how dark the valleys are, how hard it is just to get your teeth brushed, feed your family and take care of the bare essentials. I hate depression and all it robs me of, it makes me someone i don't want to be. I struggle with why God would make me this way, to where I'm battling each day to get thru, why wont He either give me peace about my afflictions, show me how to use them to honor Him or remove them? I hate not being the mom, wife, friend, granddaughter, daughter, sister etc i wish i could be! Ive tried many meds natural and rx, done counselling many times and yet nothing works for me. I just have to ride out the storm and hope i make it out alive, other times i dont really care if i make it out alive i just want the storm to end. Its an exhausting disease. Thank you for being honest and allowing your testimony to encourage others to be honest as well! Maybe there is freedom in that!
DeleteIt's hard to have hope having dealt with depression since i was a teen and am now 39. Like you, no one close to me really knows, gets or understands how much it affects me, how much of a battle it is for me...it feels like having a disease but with no hope for a cure and instead of people caring for you when you're "sick" you have to hide it and pretend you're fine because no one sees it as a physical illness, they think you can take meds, exercise and think happy thoughts and you'll be fine, they don't know how dark the valleys are, how hard it is just to get your teeth brushed, feed your family and take care of the bare essentials. I hate depression and all it robs me of, it makes me someone i don't want to be. I struggle with why God would make me this way, to where I'm battling each day to get thru, why wont He either give me peace about my afflictions, show me how to use them to honor Him or remove them? I hate not being the mom, wife, friend, granddaughter, daughter, sister etc i wish i could be! Ive tried many meds natural and rx, done counselling many times and yet nothing works for me. I just have to ride out the storm and hope i make it out alive, other times i dont really care if i make it out alive i just want the storm to end. Its an exhausting disease. Thank you for being honest and allowing your testimony to encourage others to be honest as well! Maybe there is freedom in that!
DeleteThank you for sharing your depression issues. What helps me is having something to look forward to. Having goals. It gives hope. =)
ReplyDeletehttp://616christine.blogspot.com/ (How To Be Happy Again)
ive read a few posts on your site and found it so refreshing to read honest, straight forward stories/accounts of living with depression. I have been suffering since a child and am now 36 years old, married with a son. My depression at times can be manageable which means its easier to fight using CBT, simple distraction or exercise. But then there are times when its so hard to push back, i just feel wiped out and its tough to fight back. My mother has been bi polar since i can remember,living through that as a child has scarred me. Even though i have depression (albeit a different kind of depression) I have always felt she uses her illness as an excuse and never accepts responsibility for how she has treated us as kids or even her behaviour now, she sees herself as a martyr and as a person who doesnt cause problems in her person relationships. I find that even now she tries to manipulate me emotionally and is still trying use me to fix relationships in her life..i just can't do it anymore, she brings me down and sucks the life out of me. My reason for blabbing on so much really is to try to get some feed back on how to handle this problem, im between a rock and a hard place, i dont want to hurt my mum but i hate that she ignores the destruction she leaves behind yet takes no responsibility for it. As a sufferer I know if my mood or behaviour has effected those around me and i certainly apologise and take responsibilty for it, even if it isnt immediately afterwards. so i want to feel i can confront her about it without her thinking of me as being cruel. i suppose i would love to hear other points of view on whether i should address the situation and maybe how?? sorry for going on so much, thank you for letting me rant!! your blog is super and a great help to people like me.... x
ReplyDeleteIf you are just too busy to prepare your meals, you can order pre-made meals and snacks through the website too.
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Thats brilliant that you let your daughter have her first sleepover she must of been so happy :), your doing so well, keeping yourself occupied must help and the exercise is a great idea, i hope everything went well with the operation its a relief to know it's not cancerous xx
ReplyDeleteHi, just wanted to let you know that your blog was great to discover. I've been struggling with depression for years, and it truly helps to know that I am not the only one going through this (as it often feels to me, at any rate). It's actually inspired me to start a blog about my own experiences! So thank you a million, and I'll continue reading :)
ReplyDelete